How Will You Talk With Your Children About the Marathon Bombings?

As the first anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing recently passed, and we approach the date of this year’s Marathon, the media coverage on last year’s events will be a constant guest in our homes. Boston Tutoring Services would like to take this time to ask parents how you dealt with your children in the wake of the bombing. Did you try to shield them from the images and news clips, or did you speak openly and honestly with them about it?

Courtney Fratto’s son, Gavin, was watching the Marathon runners from the grandstands with his father and grandparents, waiting for his mother to cross the finish line, when the first bomb detonated. Four days later, at their home in Watertown, he and his family had to spend the entire day indoors as police combed their neighborhood for Tsarnaev. Gavin was three years old at the time. Months after the attack, he still was frightened by loud noises, and Courtney changed the subject whenever her son brought up the Marathon.

“We just reassure him that we’re safe,” she said. (1)

With a child so young, we may feel there is no way that they will understand what is going on, so it is better to shield them from it entirely. But children see much more than we think they do. When I was working with students in New York in the weeks after September 11th, even three- and four-year-olds were expressing awareness of the events around them. I witnessed these young children build towers of blocks and then smash toy planes into them. They were trying to take control over images that they didn’t understand by integrating them into their play. But what do older kids do?

Trauma affects each child uniquely, depending on whether the child had a loved one in the affected area, if the child had been affected by another recent loss or trauma, or if the child viewed news about the impact of this event on others (individuals killed, injured, or suffering). (2) Exposure to media can lead to a child with PTSD re-experiencing the traumatic event by:

  • having frequent memories of the event, or in young children, play in which some or all of the trauma is repeated over and over
  • having upsetting and frightening dreams
  • acting or feeling like the experience is happening again
  • developing repeated physical or emotional symptoms when the child is reminded of the event (3)

In the increasingly visual culture in which we live today, it is nearly impossible to ignore media completely. Many therapists and doctors agree that parents should take opportunities to discuss traumatic events with honesty and consideration for their children’s feelings. It is essential to educate them on why these awful things sometimes happen, and to answer the following questions for them: Am I safe? Are you, the people who take care of me, safe? How will these events affect my daily life? (4)

How will you discuss the events with your children in this coming week? We’d love to hear from you about how you will support your child through this experience.

1 – http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2013/08/10/children-struggle-aftermath-marathon-bombing/J0W6QkYAugT88qCiEXJIyN/story.html
2 – http://www.nctsn.org/sites/default/files/assets/pdfs/tips_for_parents_media_bombing_final1.pdf
3 – http://www.aacap.org/aacap/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/Facts_for_Families_Pages/Posttraumatic_Stress_Disorder_70.aspx
4 – http://commonhealth.wbur.org/2013/04/talk-children-marathon-bombs

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