Advice for College-Bound Students and Their Parents

Summer always has a way of flying by too fast, especially for students heading off to college this fall for the first time. Before you know it, you will be packing your room away in boxes and embarking on a new adventure. In this post, Boston Tutoring Services offers advice on what college-bound students should be prepared for emotionally, academically, and socially during their first year away, as well as what parents should know ahead of time to help their children while they’re gone. (Note: This post is mostly geared toward students who are going away for school.)

I have lots of advice on this topic, as I am a transfer student and have tried both going away to school and commuting from home. Just to give you some backstory, I went to the University of Vermont (UVM) my freshmen year, and I had a mixed experience. First of all, I approached college with unrealistic expectations, given the type of university I was attending. I thought I’d meet mature college kids with like-minded values who wanted to have fun but also wanted to ace their classes, but I couldn’t find that balance at UVM. I struggled to make friends despite how often I put myself out there. Ultimately, I was in the wrong place, and I realized this early on.

I transferred to the University of Massachusetts Lowell (UML) my sophomore year, and this was the best decision I could have ever made for my academic career. I love my classes and the professors in my department, I found a paid internship through the school, and I have received so many opportunities at UML that have helped me grow into a more confident person. It turned out that the right school for me was only five minutes from home.

For the Student
Now that you know about my experience, here are some lessons I learned that may help guide you in your first semester away:

• Understand that college isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience. Comparing is natural, but don’t measure up your experience with your friends’, or with what you see your classmates from high school posting on Facebook. Your time in college is all your own, and you’re allowed to dislike parts of it that your friends love.
• Everyone gets homesick. Whether it’s your family you miss, or your friends, or the privacy of your own bedroom, remember that most of us have something or someone we miss when we leave home.
• That being said, it’s totally normal to have a mental breakdown two weeks in and call your parents in tears. Trust me, you will pull through it. Eventually you get used to sharing a bedroom with strangers and wearing sandals in the shower.
• There are lots of adjustments you face academically during your first semester. I didn’t find this to be overwhelming, as I was already used to hours of outside work and studying, since I took AP and Honors classes in high school. However, if you weren’t involved in more challenging classes/programs, you may struggle in adjusting to college’s academic demands, especially if you’re in a tough major or attending a rigorous university.
• Professors come in all shapes and sizes: Some are understanding and tough, some ask more of you than others, and some you just won’t connect with. You will learn to navigate the odd and wavering path that is the college professors’ selection process. RateMyProfessor is your best friend.
• I’m sure you have heard this a million times already, but put yourself out there when you’re away. Participate in sports, study outside of your dorm, join a club, or write for the school newspaper. This will help you meet new faces, find your niche, and ultimately decide if you’re at the right school for you.
• Remember that you aren’t stuck. Don’t feel like you have to stay in the major you selected on your Common Application. If you can’t handle your roommate issues anymore, you can apply for a room transfer. If you’re worried you’re going to fail a class, you can drop it or withdraw in the time period in which this is allowed. If after the first year you still aren’t happy with the school you chose, remember that transferring is an option (I can’t tell you how many of my friends from high school transferred after their first year away). There are tons of people and resources out there to help you when you feel lost, so use them.
• As with nearly everything else in life, you get out of the experience what you put into it. My experiences, good and bad, have taught me a lot about myself, and that’s what I would tell you as a college-bound student: be prepared to learn new things about yourself, and about others, that change your perspective on life and the way you see the world. It really is an exciting time.

For the Parent
As a parent, this is your time to sit back and allow your child to take the wheel. Try not to pressure them or influence their decision-making while they’re away: this is their time to make their own choices and mistakes. In order to grow into competent and confident adults, they have to be allowed that freedom to fail and succeed on their own. You should be proud of yourself for fostering them thus far and getting them here. And when you miss them, remember that they are only a text, phone call, or Skype chat away. They’re going to miss you more than they’ll admit.