The Parent-Student-Teacher Relationship

Today, we share a guest post on The Parent-Student-Teacher Relationship by violinist Daniel Broniatowski, D.M.A. Dr. Broniatowski is the artistic director of the Maestro Musicians Academy, a music school for children and adults with campuses in Brookline and West Newton, MA.

As a violin teacher, I am acutely aware of the inherent differences in learning styles that every individual child brings to the classroom. These varying styles result from a complex combination of genetics, upbringing, and innate personality traits. Every child is unique in these many respects, and coupled with the fact that every teacher and parent will also have his or her own style, there is an important homeostasis that must be achieved in order to bring out the best of every student. The great violin pedagogue Shinichi Suzuki believed in this necessary equilibrium and his philosophy reverberates with many music teachers to this day.

This philosophy is best visualized as an upside-down triangle, with the two corners at the top representing the parent and teacher, and the corner at the bottom representing the student. In an ideal environment, the student benefits from the harmony of the ideas represented by the parent and teacher at the top.

Although it would make life much easier for all, it is impossible to put a “one-size-fits-all” stamp on the three disparate parts of the triangle, since all participants bring unique elements to the table. Therefore, in our opinion, it is often best to offer an initial introductory session before lessons begin, in order to see if there is potential in establishing a long-term symbiotic relationship.

At the very first lesson, an attentive and experienced teacher will be able to see into the future enough to anticipate the methods necessary to deliver the ever-so important balance of praise and correction at the appropriate times. He or she will also observe the parent-student relationship and assess how to best complement it to the child’s advantage. In short, a positive relationship will allow the teacher to be the student’s best advocate. This will yield long-term success in a calmly-disciplined environment.

The parent will also be able to use this introductory lesson to decide if there is a healthy fit, for a loving parent knows his or her child best. Ideally, he or she has the years of hindsight and experience to know if and how the child will respond to the teaching style of the teacher. Good communication between the parent and teacher is also vital from the very first lesson, since an open and honest relationship will ultimately benefit the student when or if things get difficult.

Finally, a student has to also show a readiness and willingness to work with a teacher. Is the student mature enough to benefit from lessons? Does the student respond positively to the teacher’s unique style and methodology? Does he or she feel free to communicate with the teacher? These are important questions that must be addressed from the very beginning.

In conclusion, when the parent, teacher, and student are all on the same team, success is inevitable. Without that vital chemistry, a clash of personalities can ensue, and often what might be incorrectly seen as obstacles to learning on the part of the student are really more easily addressed when the underlying parent-student-teacher relationship is changed or improved.

Daniel Broniatowski, D.M.A.
Parent tested, Child Approved
Maestro Musicians Academy, Boston