How to Talk to Kids About Gender Stereotypes
. Posted in Parent-Child Advice
Before most children can even read, they have already been told gender stereotypes like boys are strong, and girls are weak. Research shows that by age three, children begin absorbing these stereotypes. By age 10, boys are more likely to see themselves as leaders, while girls internalize limits on their abilities. One study found that 6 in 10 boys said boys are naturally better than girls at sports, and by age 14, girls are dropping out of sports at twice the rate of boys.
These beliefs influence the choices young people make, as well as their dreams and expectations. Kids pick up cues from family, media, school, society, and more. The toys they play with, the stories they hear, and the gendered roles they see adults perform all influence what they believe is “normal” for boys and girls. That’s why conversations about gender equality and stereotypes need to start early, but many adults aren’t sure how to begin. That’s where these tips from UN Women can help.
1. Watch your words. The words we use – especially with children – can shape how they see themselves and others. Phrases like “boys don’t cry,” “she’s bossy,” or “he throws like a girl” may seem harmless but reinforce limiting beliefs about gender. That’s why sparking conversations about gender roles early on and challenging these is essential to fostering gender equality. Use inclusive and empowering language. Praise children for effort, not just looks or physical strength. Use gender-neutral job titles when possible – firefighter instead of fireman, chair instead of chairman.
2. Don’t shy away from difficult discussions. Now that you’ve got a clear definition, it’s time to talk. Conversations about gender equality, women’s rights, and the barriers that still exist are essential. By talking to children openly and honestly about fairness, justice, and equality, you help them make sense of the world and inspire them to change it for the better. These conversations don’t have to be formal or scripted, they can happen while reading a book, watching a film, or while doing daily chores and routines. The key is to help children notice and question what they see around them.
3. Talk about safety and respect online. As children grow up, a big part of their friendships, learning, and play happens online. But digital spaces often mirror the gender stereotypes and inequalities that exist offline. Girls, women, and gender-diverse people often face a higher risk of harassment, bullying, and abuse in digital spaces – especially when they challenge stereotypes. At the same time, harmful online communities like the manosphere target boys and young men spreading misogynistic content that portrays women as inferior, and frames gender equality as a threat to boys’ success. Helping children and teens navigate online spaces with empathy and critical thinking and having open conversations with them is essential for safety, both online and offline.