Helping Your Teen Through a Friendship Breakup
. Posted in News
As adults, we can all relate to what it feels like to go through a breakup and all of the subsequent feelings that go along with it. Whether it be with a significant other, a business relationship, or a friendship, there are often unresolved feelings related to the situation. A friendship breakup is typically a teen’s first exposure to the sentiments of a breakup. As a caregiver, you may notice subtle signs that your teen is struggling with a friendship breakup, such as: they no longer mention a friend’s name in conversation; they report sitting with different peers—or even alone—at lunch; and/or they seem moodier, sadder or more irritable than usual. If you suspect your teen is going through a friendship breakup, here are some ways to help.
1. Stay calm. If your teen confides in you, resist the urge to overreact or reach out to the friend’s parents. While it’s natural to want to fix things, your teen needs you to be a calm and supportive presence.
2. Be curious and open. Instead of making assumptions, gently open the conversation by saying something like, “I noticed you haven’t invited Sam over for a sleepover this weekend like usual.” This gives your teen space to share if they feel comfortable.
3. Validate their feelings. Avoid minimizing their pain with phrases like, “You’ll make new friends” or “It’s just high school.” Instead, acknowledge their feelings: “I can see this is really hard for you. I’m here if you want to talk.”
4. Offer meaningful support. Ask your teen how they would like to cope. Do they want to watch a movie with you? Grab hot chocolate and talk it out? Or maybe they just need space? Let them guide the way.
5. Help them reflect and move forward. Encourage your teen to think about what they valued in the friendship and what they might want in future friendships. Help them brainstorm ways to rebuild their social circle in a way that feels right for them.