The Link Between Bullying and Empathy

Bullying is such a prevalent part of life that almost everyone can say that at some point in their lives, they have either been bullied, bullied someone else, or witnessed bullying. According to our government, bullying is defined as “unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.” One out of every five children report being bullied.

There are three types of bullying to look out for:

1. Verbal: saying or writing mean things. Examples include teasing, taunting, inappropriate sexual comments, name-calling, and threats.
2. Social: hurting someone’s reputation or relationship. Examples include leaving someone out on purpose, telling other children not to be friends with someone, spreading rumors, and public embarrassment.
3. Physical: hurting a person’s body or possessions. Examples include hitting, kicking, pinching, spitting, tripping, pushing, taking or breaking someone’s things, and making mean or rude hand gestures. 

While most reported bullying occurs in the school building, it can also happen in places like the playground or the bus, either during or after school hours. Cyber bullying, or bullying that occurs over the Internet, is also becoming more and more common in our increasingly digital age. Both children who are bullied and those who bully others may have severe and lasting problems, including impacts on mental and physical health, academic achievement, substance abuse, and suicide. Clearly, it’s an issue that needs to be taken seriously.

So what can be done? Many experts agree that the best way to prevent future bullying is to teach empathy to children. According to Dr. Brené Brown, who is well known for speaking and writing about vulnerability, worthiness, shame, and the many other important emotions that run underneath daily life, cultivating empathy early is essential. A very different reaction than sympathy, Dr. Brown says empathy consists of four main parts: taking the perspective of another person, staying away from judgment, recognizing emotion in others, and communicating well. She also defines empathy as “feeling with people,” and notes that it is a very “vulnerable choice” because it requires one to access something personal that identifies with someone else’s struggle. 

Children mainly learn empathy from parents, but there are opportunities for teachers and peers to teach empathy as well. Reading good literature, studying history, and being present with a friend who is having a hard time are all powerful ways for children to learn empathy. Since empathy generally isn’t in official school standards, it’s essential that we all take action on this issue. Empathy could be one of the most important qualities to develop in our children if we want them to relate better to others and be successful, and as a bonus, it will likely reduce bullying.

Click here for information on preventing bullying.

Allison Green
Boston Tutoring Services